She believes things come in threes. Namely deaths. She believes this as though it were a natural law. When one person dies, two more are sure to follow. It’s to be expected.
A celebrity dies, breaking news on CNN, followed by one of her acquaintances, she will announce, “They come in threes.” She thinks any one person can die and that will tie into the third. But they have to have relation to each other. Three celebrities. Three politicians. Three friends. Three family. Not a celebrity, a religious leader and a family member. We roll our eyes at her, but she continues to believe.
If it’s on the news, or written about, it must be true. She reads the obituaries every morning with her coffee. She’s far from graceful, but she always answers the phone with a smile on her face. She has a tendency to steal things from restaurants. Like salt & pepper shakers, ashtrays, or water jugs. Of course this means nothing in her kitchen matches, but they’re all treasured by her.
She repeats clichés so often that it becomes timed. “Lining their pockets” is a favourite of hers, said mostly in regards to politicians. She won’t say the word ‘fat’ instead she chooses to demonstrate what fat looks like as she circles her arms around her body in wide circles. She thinks this is less obvious than saying the word itself.
There are times that she looks old, older than she is, usually when she is worried. And there are times when she looks young, younger than she is, usually when she is tucked under his arm. She doesn’t laugh at herself.
She’s obsessive to a degree that is dangerously close to compulsive, but not just yet. She’s fearless, yet she panics in the face of a challenge. She’s thoughtful, but part of me wonders if it isn’t just habit. She nods and mmm-hmmms when she agrees with something on TV and when she disagrees she clucks her tongue at the screen. She gives a run-down of everything going on around her even though we can see it as well.
She can’t keep a secret, even at Christmas. When she laughs, you can’t help but join in. Even when the joke is on you.